Depends For Festivals

I’m leaving work with my coworker. She says, “I have to pee so bad.”

I say, “Go. I’ll wait for you.” She says, “I have a thing about public restrooms.” She doesn’t go. 

On the crowded elevator I say to her, “You would not have survived Woodstock ’94. The port o potties were overflowing. I guess you could have worn Depends.” Everyone laughed.

If I was my current age at Woodstock ’94, well first I wouldn’t go, and if I did go I would threaten bodily harm to my husband if we didn’t leave immediately.

No amount of Greenday is worth trudging around in a foot of mud and overflowing port o potties. 

I was with my sister and brother in-law at the New Orleans Jazz Fest. We were watching The Who smack in the middle of a large audience. My brother in-law leans over and says, “I just pee’d.” Then he laughs. 

He pee’d in his pants and poured water on himself as a pee rinse. He says, “Hey man, I didn’t want to deal with the crowd and miss a song.

This brings me to my product idea. Depends for Festivals. They will come in tie-dye and yellow. The ad will say, “Do you think port o potties are shitty? You need Depends for Festivals. Either that or no fluids for twenty-four hours prior to the festival.”

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