I’m Skipping The Boss’s Day Party

I’m sitting in a staff meeting to discuss details about an upcoming Boss’s Day celebration. I’m trying to think of one redeeming quality about my boss to celebrate. Well, she approves my time card.  That’s all I got.

It’s strange to be around people for one-hundred sixty hours a month that you would not want to be around for one hour otherwise. There’s the African American Female Trump supporter. One day I commented that I like her purse. She says, “It’s a concealed weapon bag.” Then she unzips a pocket, pulls down a VELCRO attached pocket and shows me the area where the weapon goes. I say, “You know you’d be SOL if I was a criminal.” She laughs. Her laugh is a closed-mouth “Hmhmhmhm.”

Whenever we pass each other in the office hallway she makes that laugh.  There’s nothing funny happening. I’m convinced she is a dummy. I don’t say that about many people. I give people miles of room for being dumb. I’m right there with you. However, she is an African American Woman who voted for Trump. I am not kidding you that she came into my office one day and requested that I send an email to the office advising everyone that the network is down.  Then she says, “Oh wait, you can’t send an email, hmhmhmhm.”

We’re discussing ideas for Boss’s Day during the staff meeting. Someone suggests we go to each boss’s office and sing an invitation.  The person who suggests it was a musical theater major in college. I was definitely not. None of the bosses will come to the party if I’m involved in the singing invitation. Plus, it may be weird if all of the sudden a group of staff members appear at the boss’s door and break into song.  They’re thinking you are bringing them a letter to sign but instead you sing, “You’re invited to a Boss’s Day party, a boss’s day party, a boss’s day party…” If I was a boss and heard the singing invitation I would run away.

The whole group tells the musical theater major that she is welcome to perform the singing invitation  but she’s on her own. She seems disappointed.

Someone else suggests that we write the invitations on a pumpkin cut-out.

“No, some people are offended my Halloween.”

“But, pumpkins are Autumn.”

“They’re also Halloween. We better not. How about a leaf?”

OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP.

Fifteen minutes goes by discussing last year’s deli platter. It’s was eighty dollars. It was so small they had to purchase a second one. They bought it at Kroger. No wait, it was the Community Market.

I say, “Could we get back to discussing this year’s celebration. Last year’s already happened.”

“How about a taco bar this year?”

How about a bar. A fully stocked bar. That’s all I need.

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